My Orchid died on Valentine’s Day 2016 and foretold the end of my marriage. This may sound strange to you but I am a gardener and I love plants so when one dies I am sad. The loss I felt when my Orchid died heightened after my phone call to my (at the time) husband who annoyingly stated “…so go buy another yourself another one”. His attitude and lack of concern about my sadness cut in to my heart like a knife. That night with no card, flowers, or gifts from my (at the time) husband, I felt a sense of disconnect from my marriage and a profound loss deep in to my soul.
Valentine’s Day was void of romance
For 19 years we never went out on a Valentine’s Day to a romantic dinner or getaway celebrating our life, our marriage. He hated to celebrate holidays because of his ex wife and daughters; and Valentine’s day was no exception. His 1st marriage ended on Valentine’s Day and he let his bad memories ruin our life as a couple. I celebrated Valentine’s Day by giving him (and all the kids) cutesy small trinkets, heart felt cards, and bits of candy to express how important they were in my life. He would buy me some candy, a card, and maybe a blooming plant but I always felt it was forced and I always felt so cheated because his heart was never in it.
However, Valentine’s Day 2009 was different. When he brought in the beautiful Orchid in the kitchen, I felt a spark of hope that our marriage could keep working and maybe he was going to be the man I fantasized about. Every year that Orchid bloomed around Valentine’s Day and each year I had clung on to the marriage…
My Orchid died on Valentine’s Day and foretold the end of my marriage
When my Orchid died on Valentine’s day 2016, my heart went numb to our marriage and what was left of any hope that our marriage would survive. Looking back I realized that Valentine’s Day 2009 was one of the best days and each time the Orchid re-bloomed I was given some hope that my marriage was okay.
I am still not going to give up on Valentine’s Day even though I am divorced now. I may go out and buy myself an Orchid tomorrow (on sale after Valentine’s Day) to celebrate. Looking back I see that my Orchid dying on Valentine’s Day 2016 foretold the end of my marriage before I wanted to admit that my marriage was over. Tomorrow I am celebrating the day after Valentine’s Day with half priced dark chocolate and buying myself a new Orchid to remind me that life is good. Thank you for reading and Happy Valentine’s Day.
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